Friday, August 28, 2009

Daniel Dying

The bullet entered Daniel’s skull just below his right eye. As it shattered the base of his orbital cavity and tore through his optic nerve a vision flooded his mind. It wasn’t a flashback of his life, where his past accomplishments and regrets whizzed through his consciousness, like he thought it would be. It wasn’t a vision of a glowing light beckoning him to the end of a tunnel—he saw himself.

He sat alone slinging his legs lazily on the swing on the far end of the jungle gym at elementary school. He could feel the grit of the sand between his toes inside his un-laced sneakers. The glare of the afternoon sun forced him to squint his eyes and crinkle his nose. He was waiting for something—he couldn't remember what or who. He remembered waiting as the heavy clouds trekked across the September sky. He waited until the kids at the youth center trickled away like how stars vanish one at a time until morning. He waited until the rubber seats of the other three swings swayed emptily in the warm Miami wind. He faintly remembered the woman who came to him. He could smell the afternoon in her hair as she wrapped him in her arms. He watched over her shoulder as the day melted into a pink haze.

“I’m sorry I’m late honey” She whispered, her voice settled his soul.

Daniel smiled as the bullet ripped through his Parietal lobe sending bone fragments deep into his brain. He didn’t feel anything as his knees folded beneath him or as his body fell to the earth. He just knew that he lay facing the sky. He knew that today the clouds were particularly beautiful—divine.

S.Prime

1 comment:

  1. Right away, there is conflict that threatens the character's existence and the reader's peace of mind. But at least, reader's get to savor Danielle's sweetest moments along with him, before he can savor no more. The juxtaposition of the contrasting moments are satisfying.

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